Zuckerberg Unleashes Cognitive Dissonance Bot After Being Spooked by Other People's Cognitive Dissonance Bots

It appears the only thing scarier than an AI with a penchant for hallucinating factual inaccuracies is an AI developed by a competitor. Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg, revered by literally dozens for his visionary insight into how we might one day all live in a shared digital purgatory, has reportedly 'pulled the trigger' on his company's long-delayed AI agent, Muse. Sources close to the situation (a janitor who once saw Zuckerberg’s reflection in a highly polished server rack) confirm that the decision came after months of agonizing internal debate over 'safety concerns' – primarily, whether the AI would accidentally generate an image of a human being with five fingers on one hand and six on the other, thus shattering the fragile illusion of reality. Apparently, the existential threat of OpenAI or Google's large language models doing that *first* proved to be the more pressing catastrophe. One can only imagine the boardroom scene: a collective gasp as a quarterly report revealed rival AIs were already crafting nonsensical, yet oddly convincing, recipes for 'banana-peel casserole.' The moral quandary was quickly resolved: better a potentially sentient chatbot telling users they look 'perfectly adequate' than one from a rival saying they look 'perfectly adequate *and* offering a coupon code.'