Ukraine's New Top General Unveiled as 'Surprisingly' Unpopular With The Precisely Wrong Faction

It appears the delicate art of 'winning hearts and minds' has been spectacularly mishandled, as Ukraine’s newly appointed top general, Oleksandr Syrskyi, finds himself staring down not just Russian artillery, but also a burgeoning swarm of domestic dissent from the very people he's ostensibly defending. Reports confirm that supporters of the recently 'un-seated' Defense Minister, and his former sparring partner, have channeled their prodigious ire directly at Syrskyi, thus proving once and for all that while you can swap a general, you cannot, in fact, simply patch over the robust interpersonal tensions of a high-pressure, existential conflict with a tasteful press release. One pundit, speaking anonymously from behind a very tall hedge, suggested this level of infighting is 'almost avant-garde, a performance art piece on the human capacity for self-sabotage under duress.' Analysts are now scrambling to determine if fielding an army and fighting a war requires more than a simple flow chart and a firmly worded memo, especially when the flow chart itself is being questioned by the people holding the maps.