U.S. to Outsource Deportable 'Waste Product' to Liberia: A Bold Step Towards Global Inefficiency

In a truly visionary move that experts are calling 'peak 21st-century logistics,' the United States has formally struck a deal with the Republic of Liberia to offload approximately 1,200 individuals deemed unsuitable for continued residence within its borders. Sources close to the negotiations, who preferred to remain anonymous due to the sheer banality of the arrangement, confirmed that this novel partnership represents a groundbreaking advancement in the burgeoning field of 'national inconvenience transfer.' The individuals, categorized diplomatically as 'persons of interest with expiring welcome mats,' are apparently too troublesome for their home countries to reclaim, yet too fiscally inconvenient for Uncle Sam to keep. Liberia, presumably after a cost-benefit analysis involving a rusty abacus and a strong cup of coffee, has magnanimously agreed to accept this unique human cargo. Diplomatic circles are abuzz, speculating whether this marks the dawn of a new era where nations simply trade undesirable populations like baseball cards, potentially leading to future 'migrant swap meets' or perhaps even an 'undesirable person futures market.' Analysts suggest the next logical step involves a global 'Expulsion Exchange' where nations can bid on or trade citizenship liabilities, optimizing international demographic spreadsheets. The irony of the situation, wherein a nation founded on immigration is now a global leader in *de*-migration, was lost on absolutely no one who mattered.