Trump's Reflecting Pool Restoration: A Bold New Era of... Dryness

Washington D.C. residents, and indeed the entire international community of pigeons, are currently experiencing an unprecedented level of reflection – not <i>in</i> the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool, but rather <i>on</i> its continued and profoundly watery absence. What began as a solemn presidential decree to restore the iconic basin to its former, puddle-strewn glory has, in a breathtaking display of bureaucratic inertia and perhaps a subtle artistic statement on the transient nature of promises, devolved into a vast, concrete void. Sources close to the project – primarily a particularly vocal squirrel who claims to have overseen several stalled infrastructure initiatives – suggest the delay isn't a failure, but rather a visionary reinterpretation of 'reflecting.' 'One can reflect perfectly well on the empty space, no?' chirped the squirrel, adjusting a tiny hard hat. 'It’s a metaphor for… well, for something. Probably.' Experts from the Institute for Unfulfilled Pledges, a think tank perpetually under construction, posit that the 'dry pool' concept might be a groundbreaking urban planning strategy to conserve water, or perhaps to simply give local skateboarders a truly epic half-pipe. Whatever the reason, the pool now stands as a stark, sun-baked monument to presidential ambition, and a poignant reminder that sometimes, the most profound impact one can have on a landmark is to leave it conspicuously, gloriously, utterly untouched by water.