Trump's Nuclear Ambitions: A 'Family Plan' That Will Surely Radiate Success

It appears the former President, in a move that absolutely no one saw coming, is championing nuclear energy with the unblinking fervor of a man who just discovered unlimited power and whose closest associates happen to own stock in uranium mines. While the public relations department for 'Nuclear Energy: Good for America, Better for Trumps' insists there's no direct pipeline from domestic atom-splitting to Ivanka's trust fund, the subtle tremors of 'overlapping business interests' are apparently powerful enough to register on the Richter scale of ethical quandaries. Sources close to the administration – or perhaps just people who read the 'Who's Who in Mar-a-Lago Holdings' – suggest that a lucrative Saudi nuclear deal isn't merely an energy initiative, but a geopolitical jigsaw puzzle where all the pieces are shaped suspiciously like various Trump-affiliated corporate logos. One insider, who wished to remain anonymous for fear of being 'appointed' to a new, exceedingly dusty role, dryly observed, 'It's less about building a brighter future and more about ensuring certain portfolios become incandescent.' Experts are now debating whether 'conflict of interest' will finally be rebranded as 'synergistic prosperity.'