Trump's Middle East Peace Plan Now Includes 'Free Extended Car Warranty' Clause, Sources Say

In a bombshell development that has analysts furiously Googling 'what is an accord, really?', former President Donald Trump has appended a new, delightfully Trumpian condition to the Saudi nuclear deal: the kingdom must join the Abraham Accords. This audacious move, announced by anonymous sources after weeks of 'very serious negotiations' involving what we can only assume were copious amounts of Diet Coke and Mar-a-Lago golf tips, adds a layer of diplomatic complexity usually reserved for deciphering airline baggage fees. Experts are now scrambling to understand how a mutual recognition agreement between Israel and several Arab nations suddenly became a prerequisite for uranium enrichment, leading some to speculate that Trump might next demand Saudi Arabia rename its capital 'Trump City' or endorse a line of 'Make America Great Again' abayas. Critics, meanwhile, are questioning the strategic brilliance of attaching a geopolitical jigsaw puzzle to a proliferation concern, prompting one anonymous State Department official to quip, 'At this rate, we'll need them to sign up for a timeshare in Boca Raton before they get their centrifuges.' The former President, however, remains unperturbed, reportedly stating that 'deals are like golf: sometimes you just gotta move the hole, folks.'