Trump's 'Energy Truce' Idea Deemed 'Pretty Neat' by World Leaders, Still Not Happening

In a stunning display of diplomatic unity, both Ukraine and Russia have firmly denied Donald Trump's rather novel proposition of an 'energy truce' – a concept reportedly conjured during a private tête-à-tête at Mar-a-Lago, perhaps between sets of golf or during a particularly spirited game of 'Spot the Classified Document.' The Kremlin, ever the pragmatist, acknowledged the idea as 'a very good idea,' adding that it simply wouldn't impact fuel markets as dramatically as the former president, known for his nuanced understanding of global commodities, had perhaps envisioned. Ukraine, meanwhile, responded with a diplomatic equivalent of a raised eyebrow and a slow blink, seemingly baffled by the notion of pausing geopolitical conflict for the sake of cheaper petrol. Analysts are now speculating whether this marks a new era of international cooperation where warring nations find common ground in gently dismissing American suggestions. Sources close to the Trump campaign suggest the former president is already drafting a new proposal: a 'Global Hug Accord' that would instantly end all hostilities and guarantee everyone a discount at Trump Tower gift shops. Unfortunately, early reports indicate both sides have also found this 'terrific' idea to be entirely unfeasible, particularly the discount part.