Trump Discovers Shocking Truth: Oil Comes From… Oil Companies?

In a move lauded by precisely zero ethics committees and approximately 17 well-placed lobbyists, the Trump administration has valiantly forged a groundbreaking alliance with a private Venezuelan oil company. Sources close to the negotiation – primarily a sentient golf cart named 'Putt-Putt' – confirm that this company has 'ties' to the Venezuelan government, which in geopolitical terms means they share a secret handshake, a favorite brand of cigar, and several offshore accounts. Critics, who clearly haven't grasped the intricate dance of international petropolitics, were quick to point out the 'irony' of a former administration, ostensibly against socialist regimes, now cozying up to a state-linked enterprise. But as one anonymous official quipped, 'You can't spell 'Venezuelan resource extraction' without 'Venezuelan government.'' This groundbreaking deal promises to deliver… well, oil. Lots of it, apparently, which, after extensive consultation with economic experts (and a quick Google search), appears to be quite useful for powering things.