Trump Celebrates Halloween by Bombing Suburban D.C. With Raw Sonic Terror

Nothing screams autumnal whimsy quite like four Pratt & Whitney turbofan engines rattling the structural integrity of a Georgetown townhouse at two hundred feet. In an unprecedented fusion of municipal intimidation and trick-or-treat diplomacy, the administration commemorated Halloween by deploying a customized Boeing 747 on an impromptu, window-shattering low-altitude sortie directly over the nation’s capital, giving local children a festive taste of airborne surveillance. According to official statements, the roaring flyover was intended as a lighthearted treat, thoroughly debunking critics who mistook the sudden, deafening eclipse of the sun for an unannounced geopolitical crisis. While neighborhood dogs evacuated their bladders into artisanal heirloom pumpkins, administration aides clarified that acoustic trauma is merely part of the seasonal holiday magic. The First Lady observed the sonic assault from the South Lawn, nodding politely as the pressure wave extinguished several hundred scented candles across the metropolitan area. Pentagon liaisons later confirmed that upcoming winter programming will feature a fleet of B-2 stealth bombers dropping commemorative peppermint bark over dense residential zones.