Times Appoints 'Space Editor,' Expects Universe to Cooperate with Deadlines

In a move critics are calling either 'bold' or 'blatantly impractical,' The Times has unveiled its latest editorial innovation: a dedicated Space Editor. Ms. Victoria Jaggard, previously responsible for ensuring the proper hyphenation of 'black hole' and the consistent capitalization of 'Milky Way,' has been promoted to this pivotal role. Her job, according to an internal memo that somehow passed legal, involves 'deep dives into cosmic uncertainties' and 'establishing journalistic rigor across the event horizons of uncharted galaxies.' It remains unclear how Ms. Jaggard plans to secure exclusive interviews with nascent nebulae or fact-check the gravitational pull of rogue planets, but sources close to the newsroom suggest a 'strong personal telescope' and 'an unwavering belief in the power of a well-phrased query' are her primary tools. Publishers are reportedly confident that the universe, being inherently newsworthy, will eventually learn to file copy by EOD. Critics, however, maintain that this initiative will only exacerbate the already dire problem of clickbait headlines from the Andromeda galaxy.