Spotify to Introduce 'Artificially Uninspired' Label, Proactively Burying Soulless Algorithms

In a move hailed by sentient carbon-based lifeforms as 'barely adequate,' Spotify announced this week it will begin tagging music generated by artificial intelligence, thereby allowing users to easily distinguish between human artistic expression and what appears to be an elaborate series of predictive text suggestions set to a beat. The streaming giant, apparently realizing its brand isn't 'dumpster fire of auto-generated dreck,' stated the new labels are for 'transparency,' which in corporate-speak generally means 'we're doing this before we're forced to by a class-action lawsuit from a thousand disgruntled muses.' The company also confirmed it would be proactively avoiding the promotion of these algorithmically synthesized soundscapes, a policy many believe stems from a deep-seated fear that if AI music gains traction, the robots might next decide to automate the entire concept of human emotion. Industry insiders speculate this is less about protecting artists and more about preventing a future where even the 'related artists' section is populated exclusively by musical Roomba vacuum cleaners. Spotify assures listeners that while AI-generated music will remain available, it will be treated with the same promotional enthusiasm reserved for forgotten podcasts about competitive dog grooming.