Spain’s PM 'Deeply Vexed' After Ally's Investigation Proves Too Popular With Petty Bureaucrats

It seems even the most meticulously cultivated webs of political protection are no match for the relentless, grinding gears of judicial pedantry, as Spanish Prime Minister Pedro Sánchez now faces the existential crisis of having an ally, Mercedes González, subjected to the indignity of court-ordered 'scrutiny.' Sources close to Sánchez, who requested anonymity lest they too be dragged before a judge for 'thinking unkind thoughts,' report that the Prime Minister is less concerned with any alleged wrongdoing and more with the deeply unhygienic optics of having his inner circle probed more thoroughly than a particularly stubborn tax return. González, a former government delegate in Madrid, is reportedly under investigation for the crime of being vaguely associated with other people who were also vaguely associated with inquiries into still more people vaguely associated with the Prime Minister. It’s a classic Russian doll of administrative inconvenience, each layer revealing only another layer of perfectly legal, if ethically ambiguous, friendship. Analysts suggest this is a sly new tactic by the opposition: bore the government into submission with an endless parade of increasingly tenuous legal challenges, until Sánchez simply sighs, rolls his eyes, and resigns to take up macramé.