SC Senate Debate: 'Socialist' Challenger Accused of Refusing to Deny 'Socialists' While Incumbent Takes Cues from Invisible Man

A recent South Carolina Senate debate, widely praised by local paramedics for its effective sedative qualities, saw Democratic challenger Dr. Annie Andrews valiantly attempting to pin incumbent Senator Darline Graham to something resembling a policy position. Dr. Andrews, reportedly still reeling from the shock of discovering an entire state that votes in November, dared to suggest that Senator Graham’s political compass was inexplicably calibrated to the whims of a certain former President. Ms. Graham, employing a rhetorical strategy often taught in advanced classes on 'how to avoid answering questions,' countered with the devastating accusation that Dr. Andrews might, at some future, hypothetical juncture, fail to verbally spurn an individual identified as a 'socialist.' Voters, many of whom were reportedly hoping for an argument about who gets the last biscuit, were left pondering the existential terror of a candidate who refuses to pre-denounce theoretical acquaintances.