Political Necromancy: Trump's Approval Ratings Plummet, Yet His Endorsements Rise From the Electoral Grave

In a display of political alchemy that would make even the most seasoned swamp creature blush, former President Donald J. Trump, currently enjoying approval ratings roughly equivalent to a Monday morning root canal, has somehow managed to slingshot Darline Graham into the Republican Senate nomination in South Carolina. Analysts are baffled, citing the phenomenon as 'the political equivalent of a black hole emitting light,' or perhaps 'a reverse Midas touch, where everything he touches turns to... well, gold, somehow, but for someone else.' Insiders suggest that Trump's 'endorsement' now functions less as a glowing recommendation and more as a 'curse that only works on opponents,' creating a paradox where his perceived weakness is, in fact, an electoral super-weapon. Graham's campaign, which was reportedly running on fumes and the hopes of a particularly optimistic squirrel, is now faced with the daunting task of explaining to voters how an endorsement from a figure many now actively flee from at parties is actually a *good* thing. The situation has prompted calls for a new branch of political science, possibly involving quantum mechanics or ancient incantations, to understand how a man can be simultaneously a pariah and a kingmaker.