Peruvian Archaeologists Discover Unlooted Tombs; Call Them 'Discovery of the Decade' (Again)

In a development that has baffled experts and caused a minor dip in the global artisanal relic market, archaeologists in Peru have unearthed a series of ancient Chimu tombs miraculously untouched by the usual entrepreneurial forces of history. Initial reports indicate the burial sites contain an unprecedented trove of artifacts, leading lead archaeologist Dr. Elena Vargas to declare it “the discovery of the decade,” a title she has now bestowed upon at least seven different excavations since Tuesday. The unprecedented preservation has prompted immediate calls for a full governmental inquiry into the Chimu kingdom’s apparent lack of strategic planning regarding future excavation rights. Historians are particularly perplexed by the absence of even a single 'pre-colonial tourist' souvenir stand, let alone the usual meticulously plundered evidence of previous generations' industriousness. One expert speculated that the Chimu's penchant for burying their dead so *deeply* might have inadvertently served as an early form of 'archaeological deterrent,' akin to modern municipal planning that deliberately places vital infrastructure under six feet of concrete and several layers of bureaucracy. Researchers are now scrambling to secure funding for further study, largely to determine how the tombs managed to escape the universal law of 'if it's valuable and old, someone already took it.'