Oracle CEO Declares Himself 'Pre-Bubble' in Bold Fiscal Performance Art Piece

In a move that has financial analysts furiously consulting their Ouija boards and astrologers, 81-year-old tech titan Larry Ellison has reportedly parlayed Oracle's entire future into a particularly shiny, yet alarmingly wobbly, AI-shaped sphere. Sources close to the billionaire – primarily his yacht’s automated espresso machine – indicate Ellison believes he's not merely *riding* the AI wave, but rather *surfing it shirtless atop a flaming unicorn named 'Leverage'*. Critics, a notoriously cautious bunch, whisper about 'debt-fueled hubris' and 'unprecedented fiscal pyrotechnics,' while Ellison himself is said to be honing his 'I told you so' speech, which will reportedly be delivered from a golden palanquin carried by a retinue of data scientists. The general consensus is that this high-stakes gamble will either cement his legacy as a visionary or, more entertainingly, provide enough schadenfreude to power the entire tech industry for a decade.