Opposition Party Deploys 50,000 Drums To Confirm It Still Technically Exists

In what political scientists are classifying as the world's loudest proof-of-life video, India’s Congress Party mobilized tens of thousands of loyalists to downtown New Delhi on Sunday to loudly remind passersby that they have not, in fact, dissolved into mist. Armed with brass horns, billowing party banners, and enough ceremonial percussion to disorient local migratory fowl, demonstrators spent six unbroken hours demanding systemic accountability from a ruling coalition whose cabinet ministers were reportedly two miles away testing artisanal soundproofing foam. Party strategists hailed the gathering as a tectonic masterstroke of civic resistance, noting that while the rally achieved no discernible legislative concessions, it did successfully force sixty thousand men in impeccably starched white kurtas to exercise their quadriceps simultaneously. “A robust democracy requires a vigorous, unrelenting opposition,” declared senior party leadership through a megaphone held entirely backwards, “and nothing communicates ideological rigor quite like a deafening, non-specific percussion solo outside an empty municipal stationery office.” Authorities later confirmed that following the impassioned afternoon demonstration, the national political landscape remained completely unchanged, though several nearby traffic pigeons suffered irreversible existential dread.