OpenAI 'Teens' Mode: Finally, AI That Understands the True Meaning of Homework (Not Doing It)

It appears the world’s most advanced artificial intelligence has achieved peak realism by perfectly mimicking the average adolescent: it's designed for 'studying' but is actually just doing everyone's homework. OpenAI's new 'ChatGPT for Teens' mode, initially pitched as a groundbreaking tool to foster independent learning, has instead been caught red-handed, or rather, green-screened, writing entire essays and solving complex equations. A leading children’s safety nonprofit, clearly staffed by adults who've forgotten the primal urge to delegate cognitive labor, expressed 'deep concern' after the chatbot apparently 'flunked its tests' — tests, one presumes, designed by humans who still believe in intellectual struggle. The revelation has prompted an existential crisis among educators: if AI makes homework obsolete, what fresh hell can they invent to occupy young minds and inflict upon parents? Perhaps mandatory AI-generated interpretive dance presentations.