OpenAI 'Docu-Drama' Finds New Home After Amazon Discovers Cold, Hard Cash Is Funnier

In a stunning display of economic clairvoyance, Amazon reportedly rescinded its support for "Artificial," the much-anticipated cinematic exploration of OpenAI's Sam Altman, thus paving the way for Neon to sweep in. Sources state Amazon, after a brief dalliance with the film's artistic merits, apparently realized that funneling millions into a nascent tech firm whose primary output remains an eloquent chatbot wasn't quite the narrative gold it had envisioned. "It turns out," quipped an anonymous studio executive (who may or may not exist), "documenting the angst of a billionaire creating a slightly more articulate search engine just doesn't hit the same as, say, 80 full seasons of 'The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel'. The algorithm demands laughter, not existential dread over recursive neural networks." Neon, however, known for its bold acquisitions, has courageously stepped forward, presumably having crunched the numbers and concluded that the public is indeed clamoring for a feature-length exploration of venture capital, server farms, and the occasional 'are you a robot' CAPTCHA. One can only imagine the nail-biting tension as Altman grapples with, well, whatever it is Altman grapples with when he isn't busy being Altman.