Internet-Only 'Late Night' Show Promises Groundbreaking New Era of… Slightly Earlier Morning

In a move that has left traditional broadcasters scratching their heads and then gently massaging their temples, viral sensation Julian Shapiro-Barnum, heretofore known for extracting profound philosophical insights from children who haven’t yet mastered shoe-tying, has launched an online-only “late-night” program. Insiders suggest the unprecedented decision to skip the terrestrial airwaves was less a bold leap into the future and more a practical concession to the fact that most of his target demographic has a bedtime. Sources close to the production (a slightly disheveled person spotted near a laptop in a Brooklyn apartment) confirm the show will retain the classic late-night format: a monologue, a celebrity interview performed via Zoom, and a musical guest… who is also performing via Zoom. Critics are already hailing the innovative segment where the host stares blankly at a buffering icon for two minutes as a poignant commentary on modern digital existence. Early viewership figures indicate an exponential rise in confused parents wondering why the nice man from the 'Recess' show is now interviewing someone who appears to be an animated avocado. The audacious experiment aims to corner the lucrative 'people who are awake at 11 PM but only if it’s on a screen they can hold' market. Skeptics, however, note that without the comforting ritual of falling asleep to a comedian’s forced laughter at 1:30 AM, the entire genre might just collapse under the weight of its own inconvenient accessibility. The show’s working title, 'Recess Therapy: Unsupervised After Dark,' was reportedly rejected because it sounded too much like a public service announcement about screen addiction.