Historic Diamond Heist: Authenticity Verified by Absence

In a startling development that has left Viennese museum curators clutching their pearls and/or empty display cases, a priceless diamond necklace, once gracing the décolletage of an Egyptian queen (or at least, a woman who needed money), has vanished. Authorities confirm the theft occurred when audacious assailants, clearly prioritizing brute force over delicate key-jiggling, simply *smashed* the reinforced glass. Experts, who previously lauded the case's 'impenetrable' design, are now calling its former contents 'spectacularly unguarded,' a testament to its intrinsic value. The museum, a staunch advocate for making historical artifacts accessible to *everyone* (including those with sledgehammers), has announced plans to replace the shattered exhibit with a tasteful plaque reading: 'This space intentionally left blank, proving how much we *used* to care about this stuff.' Local police are reportedly reviewing security footage, which sources describe as 'surprisingly cinematic, if you're into sudden, impactful glass-on-diamond separation.'