Global Financial Elite Discover AI, Immediately Begin Swapping Digital Monopoly Money at Record Pace

In a stunning display of economic acumen and sheer, unadulterated FOMO, the titans of finance have reportedly plunged headfirst into a 'deal-making frenzy' of such unprecedented scale that even their gilded abacuses are struggling to keep up. Sources close to the market, primarily those who occasionally glance at a Bloomberg terminal before their third espresso martini, confirm that a staggering $3.2 trillion has been shunted around the global coffers in what analysts are calling 'the fastest half-decade in a decade.' This sudden bout of synergistic acquisitionitis is, of course, entirely thanks to the new and shiny 'AI economy,' a nebulous construct that seems to be primarily composed of PowerPoint presentations, venture capital smiles, and the lingering scent of desperation. Questions inevitably 'persist about whether it can continue,' a sentiment generally understood to mean 'will our bonuses be as obscenely large next year, or will this house of cards finally get a stiff breeze?' Industry insiders, recognizable by their identical bespoke suits and a palpable fear of being left out, insist this is merely the first act of an endless, mutually beneficial performance art piece entitled 'Infinite Growth Paradigm.' The rest of us are left to wonder if the 'AI economy' is just a fancy new name for 'rich people handing money to other rich people who claim to understand things a computer does better than they do.'