Florida Woman Discovers 'Democrat' Button on Ballot, Nation Holds Breath

In a development that has sent pollsters scrambling to recalibrate their quantum-mechanical models, Democratic Senate hopeful Angie Nixon has reportedly 'taken Florida by storm,' a meteorological phenomenon previously thought to be exclusive to hurricanes, retirees in RVs, and inexplicable outbreaks of leisure suits. Local pundits, typically more accustomed to debating the optimal shade of tangerine for the Governor's official golf cart, have expressed a dazed fascination with the sheer audacity of a progressive politician daring to breathe in the Sunshine State without immediately combusting into a fine mist of socialist-leaning perspiration. Sources close to the campaign, who spoke on condition of anonymity while carefully hosing down their properties to remove any residual 'blue wave' residue, suggested that Ms. Nixon's strategy involves the radical notion of engaging with voters who aren't already convinced that socialism is a slippery slope to mandatory kale smoothies. Political analysts, meanwhile, are struggling to reconcile Nixon's 'underdog' status with the 'by storm' narrative, likening it to a goldfish successfully invading an ocean. The campaign's next bold move is rumored to be an attempt to win over undecided voters by explaining what 'universal healthcare' is without using interpretive dance.