FAA Confirms Airplanes Can, In Fact, Get Quite Close To Each Other

In a stunning display of aeronautical choreography previously thought only possible in high-budget action films, two commercial aircraft recently achieved an almost-intimate embrace over Boston's Logan International Airport. Sources close to the Federal Aviation Administration, who spoke on condition of anonymity whilst audibly hyperventilating into a paper bag, confirmed that a Delta Air Lines flight, mid-descent, found itself unexpectedly sharing an intersecting runway with another aircraft attempting a rather bold exit. Air traffic controllers, reportedly engaged in a spirited debate over the optimal font for 'DO NOT CRASH' signage, managed to issue a belated 'oopsy' to the Delta pilot, who then executed a skillful 'go-around,' narrowly avoiding a mid-air meet-cute that would have drastically simplified baggage claim. Experts suggest this burgeoning trend of aerial togetherness is merely a proactive measure to reduce passenger anxiety by consolidating potential incidents into a single, highly efficient event.