Enlightened Tech Bros Form 'Guardrails Alliance' To Save Humanity From — Wait For It — *Other* Tech Bros

In a dizzying display of self-awareness usually reserved for a dog chasing its own tail, a new Super PAC dubbed the 'Guardrails Alliance' has emerged, pledging $5 million to protect the electorate from 'pro-A.I. interests' in the upcoming elections. Sources close to the Alliance, which is comprised almost entirely of individuals who funded, built, or profited handsomely from the very A.I. they now seek to 'guardrail,' insist this isn't a belated crisis of conscience, but rather a profoundly savvy rebranding exercise. Political pundits are calling it the greatest bait-and-switch since Gwyneth Paltrow started selling candles that smelled like *her* vagina instead of candles that smelled like *your* own, potentially unperfumed, vagina. The Alliance plans to rally 'tech workers' – presumably the ones who haven't yet been replaced by their own creations – into a potent populist force. Their strategy involves explaining, in excruciating detail, the dangers of unchecked artificial intelligence, a topic about which they are uniquely qualified, having been the primary purveyors of said unchecked artificial intelligence. It's a bold gambit, essentially asking voters to trust the arsonists who now claim to be firefighters, provided they're paid for the trouble.