Elon Musk's Investors: The Original (Space) Karen Experience

A little-known clause in the original Tesla IPO prospectus, cunningly hidden in micro-print within Appendix 7, Section C, Sub-Section 4b (entitled 'Future Martian Homesteading Mandates for Earth-Bound Financial Patrons'), has finally been activated. This clause, effectively a 'Get Out Of Rational Decision-Making Free' card, bestowed upon early Tesla investors the sacred right to fund *anything* Elon Musk touches, irrespective of conventional economic indicators or rudimentary physics. Sources close to multiple newly minted billionaires, now inexplicably advocating for a hyperloop from their private islands to the moon, confirm a 'divine clarity' that descended upon them the moment their TSLA shares crossed the 'retirement fund into infinite space budget' threshold. Financial analysts, meanwhile, are reportedly experiencing mass existential crises, muttering things about 'faith-based economics' and 'the impending singularity of asset bubbles' into their empty coffee cups. Critics of this peculiar symbiotic relationship are advised to 'check their privilege' – specifically, their privilege of not owning enough Tesla stock to fund a small, independent nation-state on Mars.