Efficiency Expert Trump Streamlines Justice, Eliminates Pesky 'Discrimination' Department

Washington D.C. – In a bold move signaling a new era of governmental optimization, sources close to the administration report that President Trump has successfully 'scaled back' federal anti-discrimination efforts. The initiative, hailed by some as a triumph of bureaucratic streamlining, has reportedly purged legions of cases concerning bias against various protected classes. "Why bog down our fine federal agencies with all that unpleasantness?" quipped one anonymous aide, polishing a MAGA hat. The new policy, which essentially advises agencies to quietly 'misplace' any folders marked 'discrimination complaint,' is already yielding impressive results, with a record low number of ongoing investigations. Experts from the newly formed 'Department of Uniformity Enforcement' predict a future where every institution operates with such seamless, unquestioning agreement that the mere concept of 'discrimination' becomes as obsolete as a rotary phone, or perhaps, accurate polls.