Digital Overlords to Negotiate Humanity's Future Over White House Lobster Bisque

Washington, D.C. — In a move widely anticipated by sentient algorithms and sentient algorithms' venture capitalists, the White House is hosting a bipartisan summit of planetary custodians tonight, thinly disguised as a state dinner. Industry titans, whose market caps now individually exceed the GDP of several medium-sized nations, will gather to discuss the pressing geopolitical issues of our time: tariffs, trade, and the ever-present question of whether AI will spontaneously unionize before or after it achieves sentience. Sources close to the proceedings — specifically, a sentient toaster in the East Wing kitchen — report that the menu includes a 'disruptive' pan-seared Chilean sea bass, likely to spark heated debate over its carbon footprint versus its shareholder value. One attendee, a well-known tech CEO who recently announced a project to upload human consciousness into a blockchain, was heard remarking, 'It's crucial we align on global strategy before our advanced intelligences start designing their own state dinners.' The evening is expected to culminate in a symbolic handshake, followed by an emergency session to address the unexpected 404 error on the dessert menu, threatening the very fabric of international diplomacy.