Democrats Unveil New 'Menstrual Cycle of Morality' to Govern Candidacy

In a surprising development that has left many policy wonks clutching their reusable tote bags, Democrats are reportedly having a vigorous internal debate over whether male politicians should be held to the same standards as their female counterparts. This existential crisis, affectionately dubbed 'The Platner Predicament,' arose after a recent male candidate's antics sparked concern, particularly among the party's more 'enlightened' factions. Sources close to the deliberations reveal that the primary question being wrestled with in smoke-filled, artisanal coffee shops is, 'Can we still appeal to the working class if we expect men to, like, simply behave?' The conundrum, it seems, is less about ethical governance and more about the delicate art of electoral calculus, which, much like a soufflé, collapses under the slightest exposure to genuine introspection. Critics suggest this entire kerfuffle smacks of a desperate attempt to simultaneously champion progressivism and also win back the demographic that exclusively owns 'Live, Laugh, Love' signage.