Democratic Socialists Achieve Unprecedented Consensus: Everyone Agrees They Disagree

In a truly groundbreaking display of ideological fortitude, attendees at the Democratic Socialists of America's national summit reportedly achieved a staggering 100% agreement – on the fact that unanimous agreement isn't, and indeed shouldn't be, the ultimate objective. Sources within the sprawling convention hall described a palpable "nervous energy," which, when translated from activist-speak, apparently signifies a highly productive state of existential dread. One delegate, observed meticulously color-coding their dissent with artisanal beeswax crayons, proudly declared, "Our strength lies in the rich tapestry of our irreconcilable differences! To coalesce would be to surrender to the very hegemony we critique!" The consensus to not have consensus is being hailed by some as a quantum leap in political philosophy, while others are still trying to figure out if the potluck contributions were truly vegan.