California Declares War on Sun, Permits Homeowners to Deploy Tiny Solar Countermeasures

In a bold legislative move that signals California's escalating war on, well, everything expensive, lawmakers have reluctantly agreed to permit residents the unfathomable luxury of 'plug-in solar panels.' Sources close to the Capitol (a janitor who found a crumpled bill under a desk) confirm this groundbreaking technology allows homeowners to, get this, generate their *own* electricity. For years, the notion that one might simply 'plug in' to the infinite energy source in the sky was dismissed as utopian fantasy, or worse, a direct threat to the state's meticulously calibrated utility price gouging. Experts predict this 'distributed energy' will utterly revolutionize the state's power grid, mostly by confusing it into submission. Consumers, for their part, are thrilled to finally participate in the glorious act of 'saving money,' a concept previously relegated to folklore and out-of-state residents. Analysts from the Institute for Slightly Less Expensive Living expect a surge in home solar adoption, leading inevitably to a new California surcharge on 'solar-adjacent leisure activities' and a mandatory statewide annual 'Sun Tax' to offset the utility companies' emotional distress.