Banks Reclaim 'Right' To Fleece Poor for the Crime of Being Poor

In a move that demonstrates an exquisite understanding of supply-side economics (and perhaps, the precise physics of blood from a stone), America’s leading financial institutions are once again triumphantly raking in record profits from overdraft fees. Following a brief, bizarre interregnum where regulators dared to suggest that perhaps a 36,000% APR on a two-day loan was 'excessive,' Congress heroically intervened last year to scrap the controversial 'don't make us look like Dickensian villains' act. Experts note this legislative triumph allowed banks to embrace their true calling: meticulously penalizing impecunious account holders for the audacity of spending money they didn't technically possess for a fleeting moment. A spokesperson for 'Big Bank Corp.', whose annual revenue from these fees could fund a small nation, eloquently stated, 'It’s not just about the money; it’s about sending a clear message regarding the sanctity of ledger entries and the dire consequences of fiscal impudence.' We assume this message is delivered via certified mail, incurring an additional 'learning opportunity' fee, naturally.